poetry and prose

Jesus, I want this new job so badly, and I don’t even know why. I yearn for the acceptance of being qualified and chosen. I yearn to be seen by a group of professionals as desired and an asset to their team.

I feel scared that I won’t get the job and will be stuck in my current position. I fear that this job is “what I deserve and that I’m just not being grateful enough.”

Though I don’t know what about that causes fear. I spose I don’t want the disappointment of finding that I’m where I’m meant to be?

Working for my company has felt confusing. I’ve felt very undervalued, unseen, and misunderstood. When my supervisor left, it felt like I was some leftovers.

I feel so judgmental of my own story, God. Concerned that I’m seeing it all wrong. Concerned that I’m pushing something away that is actually good?

Perhaps it is a good time to just listen and stop trying to figure out.

Since coming to you, God, I’ve learned that I don’t have to have all the answers. My life was never meant to be alone.

God, I pray for peace of mind. I pray for comfort and ease in my decision making. I pray for trust in my judgment. I know I make sound decisions.

God, I pray for peace for my family and friends—for M’s comfort and healed heart, for K’s courage and for H’s steadfastness.

I pray for this interview to go well!!!

And for the health and healing of all that seek you!